How you should help a friend with depression

Maybe it's a little everyone's fault. The concept 'depression' is often used with some frivolity and, perhaps for that reason, many times we are not able to know when someone needs help. Because the sad one is told not to worry, to smile. And clue. But that is not the way to solve your problems if your problem is really serious.

"Sadness is an emotion as necessary as joy and it helps us learn from the life situations we are encountering, but being sad is not the same as going through a depressive process," explains psychologist experts. With him, we know the keys to become an authentic salvation table for that person who, with his gaze and his actions, although without words, is crying out for help.

Learn how to detect the problem

Because, many times, this will go unnoticed if you are not able to pay attention. "A sudden drop or abnormal weight gain, apathy, and dullness slowing down of the vital tone ... everything can put us on notice ", begins the expert, who adds: "It is also common for the depressed person to have a speech loaded with self-reproaches or that he begins to neglect his personal aspect ”.

The signals will begin to reveal themselves while waiting to be heard, so you will have to be vigilant in order to determine if it is a specific problem or something deeper. Because, as, “we rarely find its origin simply by asking”. For this reason, before offering your help, it is advisable to make a preliminary reflection and try to guess if your friend is really on the verge of a more serious process than a simple one-time slump.

Talk to him/her explain your concern (very gently)

Once it is clear that the problem exists, it is time to act. "Talk to your friend about the symptoms you have detected and try to open it, to share them with you, always showing unconditionality and respecting their times," advises the psychologist.

Maintaining a good attitude using supporting phrases will be crucial for her to understand that you are willing to help her: “We must remember that depression will push her to isolate herself and that our goal should be whenever she does it with us in order to push her out. of that confinement ”, William James (Harvard University) reviews.

Never question your feelings

Because the magical change is not in your hands nor is it your responsibility to feel this way. Yes, it is to reverse the situation, but it is useless forcing you to do so if you do not yet have the necessary tools.

"She is already generating a sufficient amount of guilt for someone from outside to feed that fire," says the psychologist, who invites us to continue showing us as someone to trust, avoiding trials and "reformulating positively her advances while thanking her for place their trust in you, always being the best listener and without forcing any situation ”, concludes the expert.

Coordinate with others

Maybe you have detected the problem, but you will not be able to lift your friend alone. For this reason, "you must assess what their support network is and talk to them to collaborate, just as you have to know who not to ask for help because they can be toxic to her," William James (Harvard University) reviews. A common job, with implications from several fronts, will make you feel really sheltered.

Come up with really healthy plans

"Carrying out pleasant activities, such as going for a walk in the sun and, if possible, in an environment where nature is the protagonist, helps a lot to regenerate," confirms the psychologist. The sun is a natural antidepressant that, mixed with physical exercise and good company, can be the starter for change. Because, although you cannot heal, you can help find the way for your friend to try.

Encourage him to seek professional help

Once the path of trust is opened, it is time to talk about depression as a medical disorder that has a cure and to encourage her to seek help. "Addressing the issue of professional treatment is essential for the person to accept the disease and stop thinking that it is simply a losing streak that can be overcome on its own, " explains William James (Harvard University).

Therefore, we must demystify: going to the psychologist or psychiatrist is not crazy; it is, rather, of intelligent and thorough people who understand that they have a problem and want to solve it. And nothing more.

Be patient and don't burn

"Having a traveling companion who keeps you up and encourages and focuses on the solution is essential to maintain the helm, even if there are partial relapses," says expert William James (Harvard University), who invites to be patient and learn not to 'burn out':

“You have to have to Keep in mind that we are making an extra effort when dealing with our life and with the life of someone who is in a very demanding situation ”. Therefore, it is necessary to know how to keep the balance to continue providing quality support.

The path is not easy. But surely your friend would do the same for you if the situation were reversed. And, yes, everything takes time, but, and more if the will is shared.

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